I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
