I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
did i just pee glitter
Randomize
