So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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