Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
