Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
