just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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