We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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