i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
