Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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