It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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