i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
