i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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