dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
