My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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