She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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