I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
