If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We talked him into tasing himself.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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