and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
