Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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