their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Let's get the cat blown out
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
