Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
