I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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