She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
