Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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