Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I deserve this hangover.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
