Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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