I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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