Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
