Screwed.edu
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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