Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize