I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
