he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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