She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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