i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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