im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I love having hate sex.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
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