bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
