$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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