I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize