my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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