So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
