How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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