Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
