The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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