The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
