she woke up with a sticky ear
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
