Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i barfeds in our rink
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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