respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
