This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
