Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
