Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
