i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
