Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
