The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
