well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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