I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
