"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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