Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
