There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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