didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm too high and old for this...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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